Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Inside Looking Out
Humanity. Each day, I observe the mish-mash that makes up humanity. I see them at their most irritating, most bizarre, most self-righteous and egotistical, and most sincere and honest. And I am constantly confused. I just don't get people, no matter how hard I try (which truthfully isn't that hard; I'd rather just watch and take note than actually analyze it all). Conversely, I also see what humanity and its actions invoke within me. Often this is confusing as well, particularly when something that I should really not give more than a second's thought manages to occupy my brain for extended periods of time. But sometimes I know exactly why my reaction or thought process is the way it is. I might not be good at explaining it, or I just might not want to. Outside Looking In, and Inside Looking Out.
I hear all sorts of B.S. from people day in and day out. Mostly this stuff happens at work. People will be rude or condescending for absolutely no reason. They will walk up to me, and before even hearing me speak one word, will speak at me as if I am a young child or a dog, not an adult deserving of basic respect. I can not stand this crap, and feel that one day I will possibly not be able to hold in the verbal shock-and-awe that immediately is fired from my mental arsenal. People will also be insanely nice and polite, which makes things a whole lot better. However, there is one thing all types have in common: I see them all do some really asinine things on a regular basis. The kinds of things that leave me just staring at them, wonder what the hell they're thinking.
When people purchase custom-mixed paint, the paint associate takes a bit of it and puts a spot on the lid so they can see the color. Often times, the customer has walked off while it's being mixed so the associate just sets it on the counter for them to pick up. 90% of the time, people walk up to the counter, pick up the can, and then stick their finger in the spot of paint on the top. Then they look all surprised to find out that it's wet. It's 3 minutes old, people. That phrase 'watching paint dry'? Yeah. Longer than 3 minutes. Then of course they whine about getting paint on themselves.
Another thing they do is decide to go through Self-Checkout, and then act helpless. Like they've never used the one at Kroger before. I know you have. I've seen you there. And you know what? Not only are the directions printed on the screen, the Self-Checkout-Lady-Voice reads them to you, too! But these people walk up... "What do I do??".
Similarly, people come through a regular register. Get the total, pull out their debit card, swipe it (which means they've got an idea of the process here...), and when the number pad pops up for them to enter their PIN, they say," Uh, what's this? What's it want?" This is also generally asked in a haughty, irritated way, like instead it was asking for the capital of Nebraska. I have to hold myself back here from being a total smartass. I say, "It's asking for you PIN". And then they say one of two things: "Oh." and enter it. Or defensively "It's not debit, it's a credit card."- except the card has DEBIT printed on the front. I know the difference. I am not an idiot. You can use a debit card like a credit card and sign instead of using a PIN, but that does not make it a credit card.
The last thing to me is funny, only because I wonder if I'd do the same. People need to replace their toilet seat from time to time. Maybe they had a particularly heavy-set guest or an overly violent dump; I don't know, don't care. But it seems that unless they have written down the type of seat they need, they always buy the wrong one. Toilet seats are returned every day because customers needed the other type. There are two kinds: Round and Elongated. One is, well, round and the other is more like an oval. And no one can tell you which one they have unless they're standing in their bathroom looking at it. Which is funny to me, since the toilet is probably the one thing in your house that you see multiple times a day at regular times. If you are not out of town, you will see it at the very least once a day. Not to mention that I'm sure they've all had their head in there at least once, as well. But they have no idea.
Speaking of toilet seats: we also sell them made of plastic, wood, or vinyl-covered foam. If you are getting the padded one, I'm judging you. Those things are gross. And yet, 26% of American households use them. NASTY.
I hear all sorts of B.S. from people day in and day out. Mostly this stuff happens at work. People will be rude or condescending for absolutely no reason. They will walk up to me, and before even hearing me speak one word, will speak at me as if I am a young child or a dog, not an adult deserving of basic respect. I can not stand this crap, and feel that one day I will possibly not be able to hold in the verbal shock-and-awe that immediately is fired from my mental arsenal. People will also be insanely nice and polite, which makes things a whole lot better. However, there is one thing all types have in common: I see them all do some really asinine things on a regular basis. The kinds of things that leave me just staring at them, wonder what the hell they're thinking.
When people purchase custom-mixed paint, the paint associate takes a bit of it and puts a spot on the lid so they can see the color. Often times, the customer has walked off while it's being mixed so the associate just sets it on the counter for them to pick up. 90% of the time, people walk up to the counter, pick up the can, and then stick their finger in the spot of paint on the top. Then they look all surprised to find out that it's wet. It's 3 minutes old, people. That phrase 'watching paint dry'? Yeah. Longer than 3 minutes. Then of course they whine about getting paint on themselves.
Another thing they do is decide to go through Self-Checkout, and then act helpless. Like they've never used the one at Kroger before. I know you have. I've seen you there. And you know what? Not only are the directions printed on the screen, the Self-Checkout-Lady-Voice reads them to you, too! But these people walk up... "What do I do??".
Similarly, people come through a regular register. Get the total, pull out their debit card, swipe it (which means they've got an idea of the process here...), and when the number pad pops up for them to enter their PIN, they say," Uh, what's this? What's it want?" This is also generally asked in a haughty, irritated way, like instead it was asking for the capital of Nebraska. I have to hold myself back here from being a total smartass. I say, "It's asking for you PIN". And then they say one of two things: "Oh." and enter it. Or defensively "It's not debit, it's a credit card."- except the card has DEBIT printed on the front. I know the difference. I am not an idiot. You can use a debit card like a credit card and sign instead of using a PIN, but that does not make it a credit card.
The last thing to me is funny, only because I wonder if I'd do the same. People need to replace their toilet seat from time to time. Maybe they had a particularly heavy-set guest or an overly violent dump; I don't know, don't care. But it seems that unless they have written down the type of seat they need, they always buy the wrong one. Toilet seats are returned every day because customers needed the other type. There are two kinds: Round and Elongated. One is, well, round and the other is more like an oval. And no one can tell you which one they have unless they're standing in their bathroom looking at it. Which is funny to me, since the toilet is probably the one thing in your house that you see multiple times a day at regular times. If you are not out of town, you will see it at the very least once a day. Not to mention that I'm sure they've all had their head in there at least once, as well. But they have no idea.
Speaking of toilet seats: we also sell them made of plastic, wood, or vinyl-covered foam. If you are getting the padded one, I'm judging you. Those things are gross. And yet, 26% of American households use them. NASTY.
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