We are everywhere. I am one of them. I see you, and you, and that guy over there. I see all of you.
Some of you I know already; lots of you... Some of you I've never met.
The unknown ones- I glance at you to see if you glance back. I look for a sign of possible recognition, or of a general human bond. A nod, a smile, anything. Generally you pass by, and I go unnoticed. You didn't even see me. I wasn't there. But what if I could have been the best friend you ever met?
With those I know I wonder why our connection is so weak; why you never seem to wish to make it something more, a real link or a stronger cable to hold each other up. I would do my best to support you. I would like to be more than just someone you know from around, someone you speak to every 6 weeks because I happen to be standing there. I try to reach out. But oftentimes I'm cut off. Most times. "Leave a message at the beep..." "Out of sight, out of mind"- all very true. I wonder why it is only when you see me right in front of you that you remember that I'm here. I remember you all the time. All of you.
I am An Invisible. An Unremarkable. Filled with the desire to love, but broken down by being forgotten and unloved. Unseen. Every connection a missed one.
I know there are more of us out there.
But to all of you... just know that I see you. Even when you don't see me. And know that someone cares.
I posted this anonymously a few weeks ago. In the 'Missed Connections' section of the Athens Craigslist. I got bored, had had a beer or two, and wanted to see if I'd get any response. I got a few emails; three said they liked it. One said I should write a novel. And the last said "your sick" [sic]. Okay... Anyway, just decided to move it here before the post expires and I don't have it written down anywhere else.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I'm out of time...
The song "Out Of Touch" by Hall and Oates has been stuck in my head for two days. Only the chorus. I would like it to stop now.
This lady, she had a great itchin'
To switch out the lights in her kitchen
She did not make a date
With a measuring tape
So these fixtures she will be a-switchin'.
In related news, I got yelled at at work for making too many jokes. I was told to stop with the joking around, 'we don't have time for that'. Ok, fine. I'll stop joking, stop trying to make my miserable job fun. I'll abandon my coping mechanism for dealing with the General Public, and well perhaps I'll just shove a pen in my eye. This was from the one person I work with who seems to have a major problem with me. Who also happens to be the assistant store manager over my entire zone. I'm guessing it's personal somehow, though I have no idea what I ever did to this person; they've treated me with nothing but disdain since the day they started. I can barely get them to say hello to me; sometimes I get a response, sometimes just a nod. I'm never spoken to first unless it's to say something negative. I recently had my annual review; it was a good one, they gave me a raise. My department manager did all the talking, my zone manager was there and signed the document, but did not say one word the entire time let alone even look at me. The whole thing is pretty stupid, really. This person is not particularly genial in the first place, and just doesn't seem human. I've been trying to just let it slide; why should I give a fuck if they don't like me for whatever reason? I will keep being nice to them regardless because I'm not the one with the problem. But the stupid part is that it's getting to the point that it's starting to get to me; it's starting to actually hurt my feelings. And I feel like they are out to get me, like they have it in for me. And since to them I do everything wrong or I'm just in the way, I am paranoid to do anything for fear of it being used against me. I want out of my department so badly because of this.
Still looking for other jobs. Still not finding anything out there.
Also still keeping a relocation in the back of my mind. With each day that passes I believe more and more I just will not find what I want in life here. Which is too bad, because otherwise I do like it here for the most part.
Ha, maybe if I wasn't so crass and weird and gutter-minded, or didn't drink so much beer, or didn't belch or say 'fuck' so much I would be able to get a nice attractive young man to court me.
This lady, she had a great itchin'
To switch out the lights in her kitchen
She did not make a date
With a measuring tape
So these fixtures she will be a-switchin'.
In related news, I got yelled at at work for making too many jokes. I was told to stop with the joking around, 'we don't have time for that'. Ok, fine. I'll stop joking, stop trying to make my miserable job fun. I'll abandon my coping mechanism for dealing with the General Public, and well perhaps I'll just shove a pen in my eye. This was from the one person I work with who seems to have a major problem with me. Who also happens to be the assistant store manager over my entire zone. I'm guessing it's personal somehow, though I have no idea what I ever did to this person; they've treated me with nothing but disdain since the day they started. I can barely get them to say hello to me; sometimes I get a response, sometimes just a nod. I'm never spoken to first unless it's to say something negative. I recently had my annual review; it was a good one, they gave me a raise. My department manager did all the talking, my zone manager was there and signed the document, but did not say one word the entire time let alone even look at me. The whole thing is pretty stupid, really. This person is not particularly genial in the first place, and just doesn't seem human. I've been trying to just let it slide; why should I give a fuck if they don't like me for whatever reason? I will keep being nice to them regardless because I'm not the one with the problem. But the stupid part is that it's getting to the point that it's starting to get to me; it's starting to actually hurt my feelings. And I feel like they are out to get me, like they have it in for me. And since to them I do everything wrong or I'm just in the way, I am paranoid to do anything for fear of it being used against me. I want out of my department so badly because of this.
Still looking for other jobs. Still not finding anything out there.
Also still keeping a relocation in the back of my mind. With each day that passes I believe more and more I just will not find what I want in life here. Which is too bad, because otherwise I do like it here for the most part.
Ha, maybe if I wasn't so crass and weird and gutter-minded, or didn't drink so much beer, or didn't belch or say 'fuck' so much I would be able to get a nice attractive young man to court me.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Would you like to sit outdoors and watch lightning bugs with me some evening this summer?
Sure! But I guess you would no longer be anonymous, then...
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