It's Tricky To Rock A Rhyme

I got a comment on my last blog to post some limericks I've written while at work. Well, they aren't good. I never said they were. They're cheesy. But they fit the formula, so fine. I'll post ones I can (some are about particular people, so they are either not fit for public consumption or they make reference to things only they know about so they'd make no sense). But don't say I didn't warn you about their quality...

There once were some bulbs named 'Soft White'
Who dreamed of becoming a kite.
He attempted to soar,
But instead hit the floor;
It's agreed he was not very bright.


My car has a new trick. This little development showed up last week, and I can't think of anything except that my car is maybe trying to kill me. The Camry's new trick is that whenever the needle on the speedometer (which is inaccurate, I might add) hits 65 MPH, my hood pops open. Yup. No bumps required. Just going 65 is all it takes and THUNK! Pop goes the weasel! Luckily there is a second catch in there that has to be manually unlatched. Of course, my luck is that someday that will fail too. Maybe when I decide to pass someone and speed up to 70 MPH. Then my hood will shear off, take out 6 other cars full of families and a tour bus full of old people... I'll run off the road, maybe flip a few times. Hit a school building or something. Burst into flames and explode like in the movies, and forever be labeled as a domestic terrorist.

For tonight at Returns I am stuck, 
Which at first made me think 'What the fuck?'.
But time I can pass
By scratching my ass.
I can stand here and still make a buck.



Want a poorly written cheeseball limerick? Give me a topic. I'll do what I can.