I sold my soul for rock and roll and a case of beer.

Loans. Royal pain in the ass. ATC does not participate in the federal student loan program, so that's out. And so far, ATC is also not on any of the 'approved school' lists for any private lenders. Blow. The 'sugardaddy' option is getting more appealing by the minute, considering I still haven't scratched a winning lottery ticket.

Laptops. I have no idea what to look for. Except small. 12-14" (insert childish dick joke here). However, this is contingent on the above.

Hot. Humid. I can't go anywhere without being gross. I sweat, er... rather 'glow' more than the average girl. So you probably shouldn't stand too close to me because I might smell bad. It's better than cold and rainy any day, though.

Yes, that was me standing out in my yard at 2am. And yes, I was in fact watering my grass/weeds/flowers/dirt. What.

Some things just can't be salvaged. Which sucks. Like with those crappy erasable pens (ha, erasable...), the evidence of errors past remains, no matter how hard you try to return to a clean slate. You can't make something work if there is nothing left to work with. All that is left now are the ink smudges and erosion damage from the overused-yet-inadequate eraser.

Oliver is talking to himself again.

Next Thursday! Athens will see the arrival of a super-cool girl. My oldest friend. By oldest, I mean we go back to second grade. Fuck yeah.

Mosquitos can kiss my ass. NOT bite. Kiss. And then kindly bugger off.

Nighty-night, kids.

Time to make this house a home.

I now ALMOST have no reason to leave my house. I have a few more plans, more bricks to dig out, and a desk to exchange at Target (it came broken), but once I get it all finished, I will probably be chilling at home much more often than not. You should come chill too. Because now there is somewhere for you to sit!

Like sands through the hourglass...

After what turned into a shitty night/morning, followed by a shitty shitty day at work (on just a few hours of attempted sleep, no less), and a boring and irritating rehearsal, my day has just made a complete 180.

    I got a call from the deceased landlord's wife, and she said I don't have to move out and she'll bring me a new lease to sign next week. Awesome. I got a letter in the mail from ATC saying I am accepted into the Veterinary Technology program starting this fall. More awesome. I feel like maybe things might start falling into place.

   And honestly, there may even be some good that comes from the shitty events of last night/morning because I made it clear that I wasn't going to stay in limbo much longer. I said we've been doing this back-and-forth for far too long, and that he needs to decide what he wants. Soon. Because I feel that if it's that hard of a decision after all this time, than it just won't ever work. If you still don't know if you want me or not, you probably don't. And if you don't, let it be done with. So yeah, I may not get my way on this one, and it will hurt all over again, but at least I'll be sure of my (emotional) freedom again.
    No good comes from the Grill, though. I can't bullshit myself that much.

Things I Need: 
- a laptop
- a car
- lots and lots o'money. to pay for school-related things. time to research loans.
- a few vaccines. i have to get the rabies vaccine. i DON'T like needles.
- a job. that doesn't blow. nights and weekends.
Things I Want:
- see previous list
- more shit. too much to list probably. and not terribly interesting.

Caramel Ice Cream with Cinnamon Bun Dough and a Caramel Streusel Swirl. Pure genius. Thanks to both Ben and Jerry. And guess what? I'm eating some BEFORE I make dinner. So there.

I will not go shopping today.

I feel like I'm living in a state of suspension right now... like I jumped into a vat of Jell-O right before it was finished setting, and am now hung up somewhere in the middle. Surrounded by a bunch of unknowns and variables. In the case of the Jell-O analogy, the 'unknowns' would be those chunks of unrecognizable fruit most people seem to eat around (whose idea was this? Gelatin salad? No.). I guess the variables would be whether you were getting Red or Green flavored Jell-O today... hmmm. Thinking about it now, I doubt we were getting actual Jell-O. Ahhh... Red-flavored gelatin dessert with fruit chunks; such a staple of the elementary school cafeteria tray.


   Still no final word on the school thing. I'm accepted to the college itself, but am still awaiting acceptance/denial from the program. I should hear something within the next two weeks, but I am impatient. If this doesn't happen, I've got a lot of things to think about. Things I need to stop putting off. Like, you know, life.

I have gotten myself into a little bit of a pickle. Har har... I suppose I'll keep with the theme of this here blog, and use another food analogy to describe my situation:
   You stop at the Golden Panty for a snack, but you've never been in this particular Panty before, so you're not sure if they have what you want. But, you already know that you want the Cheddar Cheese/Pretzel Combos. On the way in, you see the Reese's Pieces up front, so you know you have other options. But before anything else, you want those Combos. You head back to the snack aisle, and:
   (A) They have your Combos! You buy them and get the hell out of there before someone tries to sell you crack or steal your wallet.
   (B) They have Combos, but only the Nacho/Pretzel and the nasty Pizza/Cracker ones. Not exactly what you were looking for, but still Combos. You go ahead and get the N/P ones, but maybe pick up the Reese's Pieces too, for just in case.
   (C) They have the other Combos, or they don't have them at all. You say "Fuck it" and just take your chances with the Reese's Pieces or maybe that Three Musketeers. But you may regret not getting the N/P Combos later. Because after all, what you really wanted was Combos.
   My problem is that I haven't yet made it back to the snack aisle. I'm still standing by the magazine rack, checking out the latest Auto Trader. I can see the Combos section and know the Panty has them, but can't read the packaging to know if they have exactly what I want. I can also see the candy by the register. And now I can't decide what to do. In short, I know I want Combos, but if that can't happen, I don't want to go hungry either.

   I am concerned that there may end up being weirdness with my current house. I've been living here two years already, and had already informed the landlord that as long as they weren't going to raise my rent, I was planning on staying. A week and a half ago, my landlord died. I didn't find this out until this past Tuesday when the new Flagpole came out, and there was a whole page remembrance of him printed. I haven't heard from his wife yet in regards to what they plan on doing with his rental properties, and I don't feel it is appropriate for me to call and bug her with my concerns quite yet, since her concerns are much more important. For now I will wait it out and see. I know they won't screw me over, but damn, does moving suck.
  
Come to the 40 Watt on Saturday. We've (The Dictatortots) got a show.
  
It has been overcast for part of today. I know the radar is clear, but a little rain would be nice. Just a good afternoon shower. I think it's not to be.
  
Time for me to clean my house!