Just like the messages I've sent you,

you won't read this either. Even though those messages were responses to messages you sent to me, and not me trying to contact you. Either way, you won't respond so I can say what I want. Yes, this is directed at one person, and they know who they are. Everyone else need not respond or comment. But as I've already said, that person won't read this anyway, so it's just me venting.


When you walk up to me at the coffee shop and ask me "What's up?" and I respond with "Nothing" and gesture to the paper in front of me, it's not me trying to be a bitch, but me telling you that I simply have nothing else to say. That is all that is up. Nothing is up, except that. And if you decide to walk away and say, "Well fine then" before I ask you the same question, it's just you being a 14-year-old girl all over again. Because that's how you act sometimes.

So, say I was being a bitch, you still have no right to get pissy at me because I don't want to chat with you or be your buddy right now. NO RIGHT. If my memory serves me correctly, it is you who quit talking to me. That's right. You started ignoring me, acted like I didn't exist, wouldn't respond to texts or messages or calls. And this wasn't the first or even second time. No, try fourth, fifth, maybe even sixth time you got all middle-schooler on me. And after all that, and especially with what happened a few months ago, you expect me to just be all normal and friendly and want to hang out with you again? Right. I'm surprised you have any friends left at all, because if you treat them the way you've treated me then they have some serious problems, or they're desperate for friends. Oh wait, that's right. You don't treat anyone else that badly... they are all under the impression that you are cool and lots of fun and a nice guy all the time.

Yeah, I'm the only one of your 'friends' who you like to ignore/blow-off at random intervals. Or just be a complete asshole to. And for you to talk so much shit about me and try to make this whole situation look like only my fault is even more laughable. I know what you've told others about me in the past, because they tell me. I've avoided talking too much shit about you because I was trying to defend you, but now I'm just not going to say anything.

You try to justify blowing me off AGAIN in that message you sent me on Christmas by saying you needed "a little separation to 'evaluate' us"... whatever. "There is nothing to fix"... those are your words. There was never an 'us' and you made that clear a while ago. Regardless, you started ignoring me again, so I took it to mean that you were done with me. So I made myself attempt to be done with you. If you needed some separation, you should have told me so rather than just disappearing.

"That was not my intention, I just pushed too far". Yup. You kept pushing me away and pushing me away, for months and months, until you finally succeeded in driving me completely from you. Even when I tried desperately to keep you at least near, if not close. You got what you tried for.

Everything I said to you in your driveway was true. And really still is true now. You don't know how easily I would let you back into my life if you really made it clear that you wanted back in. But I am not going to live my life in some suspended state, in limbo, while you dally about trying to figure your shit out. I did everything I could to keep you around, and I'm out of ideas, so it's all up to you now. I'm done with chasing after you. Yes, all I said then is still true, but the statute of limitations for you to act on what I said to you is in effect. I know I told you that you've lost me, but that's not entirely true. There is still time if you are willing to do something about it. Though I'm not holding my breath... I'm here, tell me what you want, tell me what you feel. But either make an actual effort or let it go. Because if not, then I need to let it go. And if you choose to continue fading from my life, don't get mad at me for not being your friend for a while. You've had your chances. You let them go. It was your decision.