Sunday, August 26, 2007

not currently for human consumption

Time can take its toll on the best of us
Look at you, you're growing old so young
Traffic lights blink at you in the evening
Tilt your head and turn it to the sun
Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover
Singing softly as you fall asleep
You wake up in the morning and it's still there
Adding up the things you'll never be


Alright, I can say what you want me to
Alright, I can do all the things you do
Alright, I'll make it all up for you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love with you


Time can take its toll on the best of us
Look at you, you're growing old so young
Traffic lights blink at you in the evening
You tilt your head and turn it to the setting sun
You disembark the lastest flight from Paradise
You almost turn your ankle in the snow
You fall back in to where you started
Make up words to songs you used to know, so...


Alright, I can say what you want me to
Alright, I can do all the things you do
Alright, I'll make it all up for you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love with you


The hard-luck god, he never had a chance you know
Incurable romantics never do
He held a flame I wasn't born to carry
I'll leave the dying young stuff up to you
You get back on the latest flight to Paradise
I found out from a note taped to the door
I think I saw your airplane in the sky tonight
Through my window, lying on the kitchen floor


Alright, I can say what you want me to
(I want more)
Alright, I can do all the things you do
(Give me more)
Alright, I'll make it all up for you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love with you
(I want more)
Alright, I can say what you want me to
(Give me more)
Alright, I can do all the things you do
(I want more from you)
Alright, I'll make it all up for you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love with you
                  -Heart (Stars)
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How can you be OK with the way things are? OK with spending a total of 2, maybe 3, hours together over the last 13 days. OK with our 4-minute phone conversations that consist of mostly silence and small talk about work. OK with the fact that we haven't been intimate in any way ONCE other than a cuddle or two since we started this whole thing again. Is there no more passion? Have you just lost all interest? I need to hear you say what I am to you. What is holding this together? It's like smoke. I really do feel that we are going to be forever out-of-sync. I want more. I need more. I know you do, too. But how can you know what you need if you don't even yet know what you want? This is not a relationship... we don't relate to each other at all anymore. It's making me unhappy. It's making me question. And it's causing me to begin distancing, preparing for the inevitable. We're miles away from the closeness we had 2.5 years ago, when we were simply friends. We're going backwards.  It's not hard to recognize a sinking ship when you're standing on it. I was less lonely when I was alone. What do I do? What do you want to do? What will become of this?
The clock is ticking...

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