A Word About These Here Blogs

I realize that I've been harping about the same bullshit here for the past few weeks. So I just wanted to throw a word or two out there about all this.

This is for me. It's not really for any of you. I am not one that often openly shares my thoughts or feelings, particularly in person. I feel it's my business and I shouldn't bother anyone with my personal shit. I'm not a big 'talk-things-out' person for the most part. However, I do need to get a lot of this recent crap out of my head and off my chest, and writing all this junk is the easiest and best way for me to do so. I could use a paper journal, but I find them cumbersome and besides, we all know this is the digital age; someday we'll be telling kids about long ago when books came IN THEIR OWN CONTAINERS! And they were made of this thing called paper. When you wanted to read something else, you had to get a separate container. And sometimes this thing you used called a bookmark would fall out and you'd curse and bitch until you found where you were again... so I write here.

As for why I chose to make all this public; once again it's a glimpse into the real me and the real shit in my head. And I've been called a lot of things, but I've never been accused of not being real or genuine, of being a fake or a poseur or coated with a facade. Also, I make them public because I myself do enjoy reading the notes/blogs/spewings of others. It was always a let down when you'd click on a new blog post here and get 'this blog is private. only the user can see it'. Damn it. I wanna see. It's voyeuristic, yes, but every single one of you is a voyeur too. Don't lie. Because if you weren't, you wouldn't be here, keeping up your own pages. For what is all this Social Networking if not a perfect study in Vanity And Voyeurism?

So, once again, this is for me. And in turn, you get to spy into my being. If I bring you down, sorry. Don't read it. If you are tired of me bitching, too bad. Don't read it. If you're going to judge me and my cynical and sarcastic views, fuck you. Don't read it.

I don't expect comments, but if you want to, go for it. But I don't really want your advice- particularly in regards to my latest diatribes because...
A) Any advice you give me has been heard before. It is not original. It's probably in a song lyric somewhere.
B) No one except me can really truly know how I feel. Yes, this sucks. I know, you know. But this sucks more for me than anything else ever has. This one hurts tremendously. I did really think I had found my one true love; that I had finally found the place I was meant to be and the person I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. Coming from someone like me- someone who keeps most people at a safe distance; this is not a belief or statement to be taken lightly. The few of you who know me get this. The rest of you, not so much.
C) Because we all know that all that advice is contrived and rather pointless; feel-good words for a feel-bad situation. "Forget him" "You're better off" "Just get over it"... we all know that it just doesn't work that way. At least not if there was honest and real emotion involved.

So, in conclusion. Yes, I am going to keep writing what I want. It will probably be shit you don't care about. Yes, it will probably be more of the same for now- mopey, me-and-my-heartbreak, sentimental mash. Or maybe not. Regardless... My blog, my brain, my bullshitting.

Isn't the internet great?