Reasons Why I Loved Him

AKA A Study In Remembering Why I Was With Him In A Time When I Sort Of Think He's A Piece Of Shit- in no particular order and not all-inclusive.

1. He was generally nice to me. Outside of momentary inadvertent lapses of selfishness, he was nice.

2. He's affectionate. He liked to hold my hand. In public. But wouldn't get gross with the PDA or anything like that.

3. He liked to dance. And would dance with me even though I'm awful. He's not that great either, but it's fun. And all the gay boys were jealous.

4. He liked to just cuddle on the couch and watch movies.

5. We liked, and liked to make fun of, the same things. Often times he would say something, and I would say, 'You know, I was just about to say that...".

6. We have similar senses of humor. Generally inappropriate, but funny. Only he would have appreciated the Valentine's Day card I gave him. Anyone else would have not found it funny at all.

7. He seemed to genuinely care about me. (For a while, at least...) He didn't try to keep his distance.

8. He told me he loved me. Much sooner than I liked, as it freaked me out for a while, but still he said it.

9. I just felt comfortable with him. Awkward silence didn't happen. Silence was just fine.

10. I also felt safe with him. Not in that 'my big burly man will protect me' sense, but I felt I didn't have to hide anything about who I am, and after a while trusted him more than just about anyone. I felt safe in that he wouldn't desert me, wouldn't flake like guys tend to do and all that. Granted, I was obviously wrong about this, but it was one thing that bonded him to me.

11. He reads books. And newspapers. He reads things with substance, not just brainless shit. And he gets excited about these things. He's a dork.

12. He didn't have a conquest list a mile long. He wasn't a man whore. It was nice to not have to be seriously concerned about catching something from him. But he didn't hide his history either. He did go to Amsterdam... and yes, he did tell me that he partook in ALL the wares they sell there...

13. He eats meat. Important, because I like meat. So nice to spend time with someone who will grill a steak with you.

14. Before we were dating, he came over to my house after the bars closed and hung out. Later that morning, after the sun started to come up, we played in front of my house, throwing those little "Snaps" things at each other- you know, those little paper-wrapped gunpowder packets you can buy around the 4th of July? Those things. It was tons of fun.

15. I just did. Because it was right. I saw a future in him, and nave never seen that with anyone else. I wanted a family with him. That for sure has never happened with anyone else.