yes, i know this is tiresome...

but I drink a (9.8%) beer or two and then I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm stuck in a sort of limbo right now. There's a big part of me that wants to just throw in the towel and leave town. But the other part doesn't want to deal with the unknowns of doing so. I feel as if my life right now could be a study in mediocrity. Job. Personal life. Social life. All of it. I haven't done anything to make anyone hate me, but at the same time, I haven't done anything to make anyone love me either. I'm not good enough to: get good hours at my current job/get the career I want/go to the grad school I want/fall in love with/accomplish things my relatives think are important. But at the same time I'm not bad enough to: get fired/get evicted/have enemies/bitter exes/be disowned by said family/give up entirely on past dreams. I'm just existing here. Right on the edge. I'm one of those nondescript individuals you see lurking about town. The ones in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties. The ones that aren't ready to grow up, but yet are tired of being treated like a child. There are a lot of us, I'm sure. If only I could find the other ones. I wouldn't feel so solitary.