superfluous post: quatre

Today has been a drowsy kind of day. Rainy this morning and overcast this afternoon. There has also been some major wind going on... sort of eery. One second the wind is kicking, the next it's deathly still. Good thing it's not really tornado weather- I can't think of anyplace in my house that would be effective as shelter. They tell you to go to the innermost room or hallway, one without windows, and I don't have either of these. The neighbors have a basement so I'd probably just bum their shelter.

Yeah. Today is the kind of day that makes me wish I had cable, even if only for the background noise. I want to veg out on the couch and watch crappy TV and eat crap food, maybe take a nap. Instead I have to pick a movie. I just finished 'watching' SNL: The Best of Will Ferrell. Luckily I can still take a nap.

superfluous post no. drei

Guess what I did today? I drove a car. My car. On a street with (a couple) other cars. I went 60 mph. Winterville is a lovely little town. I drove from Winterville to WalMart. A HIGH FIVE! to Liz for trusting me to not kill her.

I also bought/pumped gasoline for the first time ever. Which makes me reconsider driving. My bike is so much cheaper.

superfluous post no. 2

The first being the last one.

That was NOT a mixolydian scale.

Today's activities: hot tea for breakfast, followed by a lounge session on my couch watching two movies back-to-back while eating cheese and crackers, followed by early evening coffee and chemistry homework, ending the day with a calzone/PBR/laptop goof-off combo at Transmet.

The movies I watched were completely unrelated to each other, and were chosen arbitrarily; Jurassic Park and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

The cheese and crackers were an homage to my late grandfather. He was a chip man (just like my dad), and when I was little I'd sometimes go on his route with him. His routes were shorter and easier than my dad's, which is why I liked to go. Plus we always ate lunch at Skyline Chili in Clifton. When we got home, we'd each have a plate of cheese and crackers and a Coca-Cola, and settle into the recliners in the family room. I always liked that, even though the only channels he watched on TV were the ones with scrolling stock tickers at the bottom.

A full day of TV screen/laptop screen/textbooks makes my eyeballs feel like shriveled grapes within their sockets and makes my brain unable to function on even a semi-intelligent level. Were you to attempt a conversation with any sort of depth with me right now, I'd probably just stare at you and nod. Maybe drool a little too for effect.

On Old Olympus' Towering Top

 A Fine Vocal German Viewed Some Hops.

I feel some unnecessary need to write a blog because it has been almost 10 days. Also, I want to bury the lame-o mope session that made up the last one. However, that will take 5 blogs, and I sure as hell don't have that much shit to say.

Today all of my 'Sponsored Links' are Indiana Jones-related. Two are for Indiana Jones Ringtones, one is from a website called cowboyhatcountry.com that has the "Indiana Jones fedora made famous by the movie!", and the last is from a place selling Indiana Jones Apparel. If I were looking for some new threads a la 1930's college professor/archeologist, I'd know where to go. Though I would need mine in Short Round sizes.

Martha found my camera! The one I lost on New Year's Eve. I was less bummed about losing the camera itself than I was about the fact that I have never lost anything like that, and was annoyed that it had finally happened. No matter my condition, I have always made it home with my wallet/phone/keys/camera/whatever else. It was almost a point of pride. If I didn't have it with me, it was simply in someone's car or house, and not actually lost. And I knew where I'd left it. This time the camera was gone. Except it wasn't. Seems it fell out of my bag and ended up under the bed in the room I slept in. So yay!

School is still going fine. More than halfway through, I've got a steady mid-high A in Vet A&P and I should have either a high B or A in Chemistry. I thought I'd bombed the hell out of my last Chem test, but ended up with an 89. On top of that there will be some extra credit, too.

Just finished scrubbing my bathroom. Not the most fun, but now it looks pretty again. Will probably do a little more cleaning, then head downtown to the coffee shop.

Not a lot else going on. Glad for the pretty day today. Been a good week. Hope it keeps it up.

The VD blues.

Just so you know, by VD I mean 'Valentine's Day", not 'Venereal Disease'. I don't have that kind of VD.

Though I suppose for some, one leads to the other, huh? A venereal disease causes itching and discomfort (on a superficial level). The VD blues (retartedly) causes an ache (not itching) on the deep, internal level. Which causes very superficial signs i.e. leaking a fluid from the lacrimal ducts- to show. Which is stupid and makes me feel like such a girl.

Here I am, at age 27. I think Valentine's Day is a Bullshit Holiday. Something made by the commercial forces in order to influece us into buying cards/candy/gifts for our 'significant others'. No other major holidays fall at this time of year, or with this sort of importance- they gotta stay afloat somehow! And the commercial giants guilt us into buying shit for our 'other halves' this day of the year... otherwise, you'll be in deep doo doo. What a load of garbage!!!

So yes, I recognize it's a load of crap. But... I also haven't had a Valentine since I was in 8th grade (that's Feb. 1995 for those who don't want to do math). And as ridiculous as the whole "holiday" is, I still wish that I were involved in the spectacle just once. I want to be taken out for a nice dinner. I want the person I love to give me some sign that he loves me too. I don't want a whole bunch.... I just want to love someone who loves me back. And this has not worked the way I hoped it would for the past 2 years. I loved someone who didn't love me back. And who (according to him) couldn't love me back as I wished he would. I doomed myself from the start. He was 33 years old, and had no idea what he wanted in life... what am I supposed to do with that when I know at least the basics of what I want in life?? Am I supposed to 'hang out' as a 'platonic' cuddle-buddy until he decides what he wants in life (which may very well not be me), even though I know now, and he has no idea?? That can only go on for so long.

I did cut him off of communication about 3 weeks ago, so I guess anything I say now is a moot point. But I don't think he realizes that I just broke my own heart again by severing all ties. And I don't think I'll ever be in communication with him again so my feelings about the whole thing really don't matter. So what can I do? Nothing, except move on. That's it. I loved him. He wasn't interested in such things. There is nothing else to say about that.

So yeah, Fuck Valentine's Day. It's a commercialized bunch of BS. And it's dumb that such a thing can make me feel bad. Now where's my chocolate?

edited for drunken redundancies and bad grammar... yeah, i was drunk. what else brings forth such a blog??

Pockets full of posies

       I'm a packrat. I have trinkets and papers and whatnot from all sorts of things scattered in drawers and boxes all over my house. I have a box containing drawings, homework, standardized test scores, report cards- hell, you name it- dating back to 1986. (Is it strange that I'm the one that has these things and not my mother? I took them because she was going to throw them all away, and well, see below and you'll see why... A bit metaphorical if you know of our relationship). I have a bag of my most loved childhood stuffed animals (remember Pound Puppies?) and a box of other kid-things... the baseball cards I got from cereal boxes, a few real (as in all metal) Hot Wheels cars, a glow-in-the-dark Rice Crispies Duncan yo-yo and a Duncan Butterfly yo-yo, the Battleship game (manual, non of that electronic shit), Hearthrob boardgame, etc. etc. etc...

       I have a particularly weird thing about photos and letters/cards- I have never been able to throw any of them away, because for some reason I feel as if I'm throwing away a small part of the person the item came from. As if I'd be somehow affecting them in a physical way, like a voodoo doll or something. I just can't do it. This leads me to have school photos of kids I haven't seen since 4th grade. Every birthday and Christmas card ever sent to me. Every postcard, letter- even every note passed to me in middle school. Papers all over the place.

       So now I'm trying to finally get this place cleaned up and organized. I'm trying to pare down, not only because I really just should, but also because there may be some changes in the coming months. So what to do with that I just can't part with? 
     
     It's been two weeks. You were the same (careless douche) you always have been. I got pissed, and sort of fucked up with the way I let you know I was pissed. The straw that broke the camel's back. Moving on.
   - Things not belonging to me returned.
   - All written correspondence sealed up and put away (not discarded- see above).
   - Certain other items also put away.
   - Phone number deleted (more to prevent text-stupidity on my part than anything).
   - The acceptance that that's it. For real this time.
    The severance is almost complete. I just have to wait for the dull ache within to subside. 'Till then...

    Today I found the first four-leaf-clover of the year. Actually it was two; they were right next to each other. I brought them home and they joined the others in good ole' St. Martin's Handbook. The only thing I have ever used this textbook for is pressing four-leaf-clovers. For you who are interested in such things, the small patches of clover along Pulaski St. always have lots of four-leafers. For me, those are one of the few things I don't have to look hard to find.

The End Is Near!

The Coca-Cola vending machines at Athens Tech now accept credit cards.

A sign of the Apocalypse, maybe?