Background: about 6 weeks ago, some shit went down where I behaved poorly and said some not-nice things I didn’t mean to someone, leading to a complete falling out. Subsequently, over the following weeks it gnawed at me, and I felt more awful about it each day, and though fully realizing that it most likely wouldn’t change the outcome, I decided to clear the air a bit. Seeing as how calling was not an option anymore (plus my words work better in writing), I sent a sincere and well-thought-out email containing an acknowledgement of and apology for my bad behavior. I then sent a text message requesting that this particular email be read.
Fast Forward to Now: Yesterday I received a text which started a small dialogue, beginning with an attack on why I was "trying to send [them] messages". I repeated my request for that email to be read- basically a do-this-last-thing-for-me-and-then-I’ll-be-on-my-way response. This was met with an inquiry on if I just wanted to meet up and talk. I said ’read the email first, please’, gave my reasons why, and said I’d meet up if requested to after. The next text said "just fucken meet me".
Up to now, it’s not really a negative dialogue; not a postive one really and a little redundant, but nothing to even really think about later. At this point, it’s around 12:40am, and I am at a friend’s house in Watkinsville studying with a group of girls for a lab final we had today. We left to go to Waffle House for a bit, and when we got back to her house, I checked my phone and saw that last ’meet me’ text. Though it was about 2 hours later (around 2:50am), texts are not usually invasive, so I replied that I’d meet if they wanted but after they read the email. I got an immediate response saying "one of us is gonna hafta budge...", so naturally I responded by saying that I always budged and once again asking that they do me this favor just this once and just read my email, considering they sent me their fair share of them and I didn’t ignore them. I accidentally sent it early, so I sent another directly following saying that technically no one has to budge, but I’ve already made the first move so it’s your turn. While writing these, I receive two texts that I don’t look at until later. This is where something happened.
I don’t believe that I’ve said anything wrong or mean or shady up to this point. The two texts I got ended the ’conversation’ because I abandoned my phone and didn’t see them until close to 4:30am, and wasn’t going to bother responding then since the other party would by now for sure be asleep. When I first read them, they didn’t seem to make much sense, probably because I really wanted to sleep, but I didn’t take them in a negative manner, though the last one seemed a little like I was being challenged. At this point, I actually felt a little more positive about the situation since there was at least a dialogue in place that didn’t include name-calling or mud-slinging.
So today: I go to school. I take two exams. I come home. I send a general text just in response to the last two I got last night, so it wouldn’t look like I was ignoring them. Commented on the tone of the last text, then just said I didn’t respond since I didn’t see the messages until so late, blah blah, took some tests now for a nap.
Three hours later, I get this: "Considering that I have barely said a word to you in over two months, you sure have been trying to talk to me lately." (first off, it hasn’t been over 2 months since this happened, except that the reason for the blowup was me getting pissed at being blown off so I suppose it’s true in that respect) What??? Get off your high horse. I just responded to the texts sent to me. Yes, I sent that email along with a request that it actually be read, but it wasn’t me "trying to talk to" them, it was an apology for being a raging bitch six weeks back. That’s pretty much it.
So now I think about it, because this statement is a bit of a slap for more than one reason, and go back to the last 2 texts from the night before that I’d only glanced at and realize that maybe I misinterpreted them and they are not positive in the least but are accusatory and even a little threatening. I just don’t see where the switchover came from ’just meet me’ to these.
1) "Every time my phone goes off and it is your name, it makes me want to come over there and see what is up. Because this is not working. Whatever ’this’ is."
This came 15 minutes after ’someones gotta budge’. Every time your phone goes off? It’s going off because I’m RESPONDING to your last text. WTF? I didn’t just send random texts all damn night for no reason- I had better shit to do, like learning for my anatomy test. And I’m not ’up to’ anything, nor did I think that ’this’ would work to acheive my non-existant plan. I don’t know what ’this’ is either. Even if I was up to something, it’d be a waste of time. I know that nothing works on you anyway because you are selfish, which you said yourself.
2) 20 minutes later (with no response by me to 1): "I hope not to keep you up(?), but I have ignored you enough tonight. Next time my phone wakes me, I am bangin’ on your door. Your call."
Smart-ass. You knew you weren’t keeping me up because I had already mentioned the all-night study session. And you weren’t ignoring me because you responded to my messages, which is also why I assumed you were awake. To keep me from waking you with an answer to your last message, all you had to do was A) not respond or B) say you were sleeping. I wasn’t trying to keep waking you up. And what if I’d sent a message back? You’re going to come banging on my door? And do what?
Now maybe the text I got today just got me all defensive and I’m still misreading those statements. But still. All of this because I wanted to be a decent human being, and sent an email basically saying that I did not want to be the person I briefly became, I was ashamed for treating someone I cared about so horribly, and that I was truly sorry for what I said, along with a goodwill offer of "you wanna talk again, cool, give me a call- I’ll be around; or if not, I understand and have a good life".
This is the type of thing that makes me want to not even bother with people anymore. Even when trying to do something right or good, everything gets all screwy.
To round out my day:
-My head is killing me from lack of sleep.
-I didn’t do as well on the exams as I wanted to or should have: I kept second-guessing myself and know of at least three answers I changed when my first gut-answer was actually correct.
-I left my calculator in my old backpack, which on a chemistry test made up entirely of using gas law formulas/equations to solve volume, pressure, moles, or temperature of gases really comes in handy.
-Joe puked on my pillow.
Time for bed. Sorry for the length.
Fast Forward to Now: Yesterday I received a text which started a small dialogue, beginning with an attack on why I was "trying to send [them] messages". I repeated my request for that email to be read- basically a do-this-last-thing-for-me-and-then-I’ll-be-on-my-way response. This was met with an inquiry on if I just wanted to meet up and talk. I said ’read the email first, please’, gave my reasons why, and said I’d meet up if requested to after. The next text said "just fucken meet me".
Up to now, it’s not really a negative dialogue; not a postive one really and a little redundant, but nothing to even really think about later. At this point, it’s around 12:40am, and I am at a friend’s house in Watkinsville studying with a group of girls for a lab final we had today. We left to go to Waffle House for a bit, and when we got back to her house, I checked my phone and saw that last ’meet me’ text. Though it was about 2 hours later (around 2:50am), texts are not usually invasive, so I replied that I’d meet if they wanted but after they read the email. I got an immediate response saying "one of us is gonna hafta budge...", so naturally I responded by saying that I always budged and once again asking that they do me this favor just this once and just read my email, considering they sent me their fair share of them and I didn’t ignore them. I accidentally sent it early, so I sent another directly following saying that technically no one has to budge, but I’ve already made the first move so it’s your turn. While writing these, I receive two texts that I don’t look at until later. This is where something happened.
I don’t believe that I’ve said anything wrong or mean or shady up to this point. The two texts I got ended the ’conversation’ because I abandoned my phone and didn’t see them until close to 4:30am, and wasn’t going to bother responding then since the other party would by now for sure be asleep. When I first read them, they didn’t seem to make much sense, probably because I really wanted to sleep, but I didn’t take them in a negative manner, though the last one seemed a little like I was being challenged. At this point, I actually felt a little more positive about the situation since there was at least a dialogue in place that didn’t include name-calling or mud-slinging.
So today: I go to school. I take two exams. I come home. I send a general text just in response to the last two I got last night, so it wouldn’t look like I was ignoring them. Commented on the tone of the last text, then just said I didn’t respond since I didn’t see the messages until so late, blah blah, took some tests now for a nap.
Three hours later, I get this: "Considering that I have barely said a word to you in over two months, you sure have been trying to talk to me lately." (first off, it hasn’t been over 2 months since this happened, except that the reason for the blowup was me getting pissed at being blown off so I suppose it’s true in that respect) What??? Get off your high horse. I just responded to the texts sent to me. Yes, I sent that email along with a request that it actually be read, but it wasn’t me "trying to talk to" them, it was an apology for being a raging bitch six weeks back. That’s pretty much it.
So now I think about it, because this statement is a bit of a slap for more than one reason, and go back to the last 2 texts from the night before that I’d only glanced at and realize that maybe I misinterpreted them and they are not positive in the least but are accusatory and even a little threatening. I just don’t see where the switchover came from ’just meet me’ to these.
1) "Every time my phone goes off and it is your name, it makes me want to come over there and see what is up. Because this is not working. Whatever ’this’ is."
This came 15 minutes after ’someones gotta budge’. Every time your phone goes off? It’s going off because I’m RESPONDING to your last text. WTF? I didn’t just send random texts all damn night for no reason- I had better shit to do, like learning for my anatomy test. And I’m not ’up to’ anything, nor did I think that ’this’ would work to acheive my non-existant plan. I don’t know what ’this’ is either. Even if I was up to something, it’d be a waste of time. I know that nothing works on you anyway because you are selfish, which you said yourself.
2) 20 minutes later (with no response by me to 1): "I hope not to keep you up(?), but I have ignored you enough tonight. Next time my phone wakes me, I am bangin’ on your door. Your call."
Smart-ass. You knew you weren’t keeping me up because I had already mentioned the all-night study session. And you weren’t ignoring me because you responded to my messages, which is also why I assumed you were awake. To keep me from waking you with an answer to your last message, all you had to do was A) not respond or B) say you were sleeping. I wasn’t trying to keep waking you up. And what if I’d sent a message back? You’re going to come banging on my door? And do what?
Now maybe the text I got today just got me all defensive and I’m still misreading those statements. But still. All of this because I wanted to be a decent human being, and sent an email basically saying that I did not want to be the person I briefly became, I was ashamed for treating someone I cared about so horribly, and that I was truly sorry for what I said, along with a goodwill offer of "you wanna talk again, cool, give me a call- I’ll be around; or if not, I understand and have a good life".
This is the type of thing that makes me want to not even bother with people anymore. Even when trying to do something right or good, everything gets all screwy.
To round out my day:
-My head is killing me from lack of sleep.
-I didn’t do as well on the exams as I wanted to or should have: I kept second-guessing myself and know of at least three answers I changed when my first gut-answer was actually correct.
-I left my calculator in my old backpack, which on a chemistry test made up entirely of using gas law formulas/equations to solve volume, pressure, moles, or temperature of gases really comes in handy.
-Joe puked on my pillow.
Time for bed. Sorry for the length.
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